Shame

It is a powerful thing to feel as though something you are  doing is shameful.

I recently had a chance to take my meta’s niece out for an activity, with my girlfriend

It was awkward, as the child’s parents have no idea as to my girlfriend and I’s relationship

This is due to a requirement from my meta that their family be kept in the dark.

Difficult situation to be in, but I love taking kids out for new experiences, and it allowed me to get
A short while with my partner... even if we had to pretend we didn’t like each other.

It was going well until the young kiddo asked if we were boyfriend....  this is where the shame
Sets in.  I was forced to lie to a child, to protect a secret that I don’t believe in.

I feel shame for lying to that kiddo... and I feel like I am a point of shame , as I must be a secret

Feelings will be processed...

Coming out as Poly?

How does one "Come out" as poly to the world?

I've been exploring what Poly is to me for  a few months now.  I have a wonderful girlfriend, and 2 partners who are fire in my heart. It is a wonderful feeling, with it's ups and downs,  communication mishaps, and so many great successes.

But I don't like feeling as though I have to hide this part of my life. I recently posted some photos of a trip I took with a partner.  It was a fantastic trip, we had amazing experiences and got to learn about each other.  Some of the photos very much look like your "stereotypical" bf/gf on a date relationship. Why?  because we were on a date, and each moment we savored and laughed and enjoyed.

I came home from that trip and had a great reconnection with my girlfriend... whose response to the trip photos was " X is really hot and I'm glad you're together".  I love my girlfriend.. who is married to a most excellent gent (ya, my metamor is pretty damn awesome), and to have my partners feel such compersion.. and the same compersion I feel for them, and to have no fear in sharing all my highs and lows,  is an indescribable feeling.


So, the question I wrestle with is,  how to show the rest of my life this side of me?  To let them all know that they will see me in romantic photos with more than one person, and yes, I am dating them, and yes I care for them, and No, I am not a "playa".

I know, in my heart, that mine and my partners care for each other is all that really matters.. but dammit.. I want the world to know these people are fucking important to me.

Thanks for listening.

El Senior Otter