Sunday, March 29, 2020

Covid - Poly and dying alone


 A startling realization hit last night,  the impact of being solo poly means I will most likely die alone.


Last evening, I had some feeling of unease, like my heart was racing and couldn’t keep up. My shoulder hurt, my legs felt heavy and I couldn’t focus. Tossing on my pulse oxyometer, it showed a low o2 sat, and my heart going about 100 bpm.  


Shit.  This might be it.  My father , his family , had terrible history with heart problems.  Here I sit , middle of my years old, about to kick the can. 


And there was no one in the house for me to call to. 


My solo poly is by choice.  I choose to be in a relationship with an amazing human, who has a really excellent husband. They’ve been together almost 2 decades, and I’ve been lucky enough to get to know both of them. 


I choose the relationships I do, because they are amazing and fit me well. 


It’s in the hard times that I am faced with the realization that my choices, will leave me ever alone in the quiet times.


The ability to grow a life with someone(s) else is precious, and it doesn’t always look the way you think it should. 





1 comment:

  1. In 22 trials, Small and Tse predicted the correct half 13 occasions. Overall that may have earned them 18 percent profit on a theoretical stake, they report. "You mainly press a button when the ball passes a sure point after which use that timing to make a prediction," Small mentioned. Small and Tse used high-school calculus and physics 카지노사이트 -- particularly the branch known as as|often recognized as} classical mechanics -- to develop their mannequin.

    ReplyDelete