Coping Mechanisms

We don't always realize when we have a coping mechanism...  especially when it's so ingrained in ourself.. our being. 

"Coping strategies refer to the specific efforts, both behavioral and psychological, that people employ to master, tolerate, reduce, or minimize stressful events. ... An additional distinction that is often made in the coping literature is between active and avoidant coping strategies."

Food is one of my prime mechanisms.  I had thought I was over using it, when I got healthier.  

The last year has taught me other wise.   It starts small "Oh I'll just go get lunch, get away from the desk" ...
"I had a salad yesterday,  the pizza smells great and it's been a hard day"

"One of these caramel bars won't hurt"

"I mean .. if I had one , two really isnt that bad. and it was really rough today."

And gets worse from there. 

Hidden

It's a difficult thing to feel as though you have to remain hidden in some parts of your life. Particularly in regards to people you care about. 

One of my partners has some circumstances that require a little.. discretion.. when discussing or sharing the nature of our relationship with the world.  Over the time we've been together, the need for discretion lowered more and more... until we were fairly open, even on facebook. 

An event recently took that a few steps back, and unfortunately reinforced that I am the hidden partner (not quite as cool as it sounds).  In the grand scheme of impact, it's minimal..  but in a world where Jerk Brain reigns,  it feels like yet another reminder of where I am. 

Alright jerk brain.. we should figure this out.....  lest one of us say something silly!